A Baby Bathwater story
Ten days before launch, a member of this group asked for help.
It started with one post. Here is what happened, and why I'm running the same speed report free for any member here.
Justin Gordon, founder of ShakaCode. We've been making sites fast since 2015.
How it started
A beautiful new brand, a dated store still behind it, and a Bitcoin stage debut in ten days.
Don DeVange, a member here who runs the agency D2 Creative, posted an urgent ask: his client Snorkel was about to debut the HashTub (a cedar hot tub heated by a water-cooled Bitcoin miner, yes, really) on stage at Bitcoin 2026. Snorkel's owner, Michael Diederich, had a beautiful new brand, but the store behind it, in Michael's own words, "threw you back fifteen years." Ten days on the clock, and a date that could not move.
We connected, and ShakaCode pulled in three senior developers to finish the new store alongside Don's team and make it fast. We shipped on the date.
The result
Michael debuted on stage with the new site live behind him.
The problem was the one everyone knows: people on their phones, staring at a page that has not shown anything yet, and leaving. At a conference, nobody waits.
The heaviest page, an image-heavy customizer, dropped from a 64MB download to 7MB. The shopping page went from 2MB to 100KB.
From "can you help" to a launch on stage. The deadline held.
The live store kept selling the entire time. Our AI compared every page before and after, pixel by pixel, and not a single checkout broke.
Every page now scores a perfect 100, which also helps search ranking.
"Now it's super slick. I don't know what wizardry and magic you put into that, but that was a big impact for me."
Michael Diederich, owner of Snorkel, after debuting the HashTub on stage at Bitcoin 2026
Speeding up sites is what my team does, for stores, apps, and funnels where slow pages cost real customers. Every gain we report is a real measured number, not an estimate. Read the full Snorkel story →
The report
What you would get.
A real page from Snorkel's live site, filmed frame by frame on a phone over a slower mobile connection, the kind you hit in a packed conference hall. Watch their inspiration gallery jump around as it loads, captured June 2026: the same read you would get for any page of yours.
Every report opens with a plain-English verdict, written by our AI and reviewed by our performance team: whether the page is good, okay, or has a real problem, why, and what it costs you. For this one: content that shifts under your visitor's thumb and a main image that lands at 6.5 seconds, which on mobile means visitors leaving before the page settles.
This gallery page went in as a quick request from Don right after the launch we shipped, so it never went through our performance work. That makes it a fair example of what the report flags on a page nobody has optimized.
The offer
Want one for your site?
Site speed is the last thing you have time to babysit, and nobody hands you a straight answer on whether it is quietly costing you customers. That is the whole reason this exists.
- 1
Send me a link or two
The pages you care about most, your site or a client's. No access needed, nothing to install, just a public link.
- 2
We film and measure it
Our AI runs your pages the way your slowest customer loads them: on a phone, on a crowded network, no shortcuts.
- 3
You get the report
Every frame of your page loading, the real numbers, and the verdict our AI writes and our team checks before it reaches you.
A few quick answers
Before you send a link
Is this going to turn into a sales call?
No call unless you ask for one. You get a written report by email; if it makes you want to talk, you reply. If it does not, that is genuinely fine.
What if I already have a team?
No problem. Hand it straight to your developers or agency: they get a clear picture of what is slow and where, with none of the guesswork. And when your team wants a second set of hands, that is us, using the same measurement system to prove every improvement and break nothing.
Is it really free?
Yes. Send your link and the report is free: the automation and AI do most of the work, and our team reviews every one before it goes out. It is also how we meet new clients: if it turns up something worth fixing and you want a hand, you can ask, but I will not chase you. And if your site is already fast, I will tell you that in a line.
Send me your link.
These are free for members through the end of June, while I can turn each one around properly. Paste a public link or two, and I'll send your report back in a few days.
Or email me directly: justin@shakacode.com
I only test public pages, nothing behind a login.